I’ve separated from my partner. Should I attend mediation regarding my children and how do I prepare for mediation?

When parents separate, one of the key areas they need to consider is what arrangements should be put in place for the children.  This can include time the children spend with each parent, where and how handover takes place, the how and when of the communication the children have with the parent they are not spending time with, requirements in order for each parent to travel with the children, and communication between the parties regarding the children.

First steps

The adversarial nature of Court does not make it the best forum for parents to maintain a good co-parenting relationship.  The reality of separating with children means the parents will need to have an on-going relationship for the rest of their lives.  For this reason, it is mandatory for parents to participate in confidential mediation with a family dispute resolution practitioner, prior to making an application to the Court for parenting Orders.

Setting yourself up for success

To give mediation to best chance of success it is worthwhile to be prepared prior to the mediation.  This may include setting out your concerns around parenting matters, ideas for how to address those concerns, your proposals for parenting arrangements and your reasons those proposals are in the best interests of the children.  It is often best to avoid past grievances with the other parent and to instead focus on what is best for the children moving forward.  You may have concerns about the other party’s attitude towards the mediation.  If you approach the mediation doing everything you can to engage in meaningful and productive discussion about your children and it is unsuccessful despite your efforts, you can go forward knowing you did everything in your power to put the children first and to avoid Court.

What happens if we can’t agree?

If mediation is unsuccessful for whatever reason, the family dispute resolution practitioner will issue both parents with a certificate.  This certificate enables the parents to make an application to the Court for parenting Orders.  If the mediation is successful you may wish to have the agreement made into parenting Orders in order that it will be enforceable.  You can do this by making a Consent Orders Application to the Family Court.

The benefits of a successful mediation

• The removal of the children from an adversarial contest.
• The creation of an ongoing regime which offers children security and comfort in having an orderly and clearly defined regime, ie they know where the boundaries are and what is expected.
• Often, when parents break up, children feel it is somehow their fault or there might be a feeling, if one of their parents has commenced a new relationship, that this parent doesn’t love them as much. A mutually agreed arrangement with the welfare of the family at the forefront can do much to alleviate these types of feelings.
• Lastly but, very importantly, it avoids the stress and emotional turmoil and the very significant financial cost that results from dealing with litigation on this.

In summary, every effort should be made to engage in meaningful mediation, for the long-term welfare of the children and their relationship with their parents.  Litigation should be a place of last resort.

If you have any queries, please give us a call on 9543 1444.  Our initial consultation is free.