Non-legal ways in dealing with a relationship break-up

It is a sad fact of life that over the Christmas holiday period there is a more than usual number of relationship breakups.  I do not know the reason for this, but it is a fact of life, something I see year in year out.  This raises legal issues but many more issues on a personal level.

A breakup can be one of the most stressful and emotional experiences in life.  Whatever the reason for the split, the breakup of a relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling emotions.

Before I opened my own practice I worked for a large firm doing only estate work.  In the course of that work, I was exposed to many people grieving the loss of a loved one.  After I commenced my own practice and became involved in family law work, I noticed a strong similarity between the emotions displayed by somebody who is grieving the loss of a loved one and a person who is grieving the loss of a relationship.

Here are a few things you can do to help deal with the pain, stress and uncertainty:

• Don’t be afraid to seek professional help for yourself and your children. An experienced professional can recognise what you are facing and assist you in how to deal with it and give you the necessary support. What you think is abnormal in how you feel might be very normal and an expert’s advice in identifying the issues can certainly help you deal with the circumstances and feelings resulting from the breakup.
• Recognise that it is ok to have different feelings. It is normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused and these feelings can be intense.
• Connect face to face with trusted friends and family members. People who have been through painful breakups or divorces can be especially helpful.  The last thing you want to do is isolate yourself from the support that family and good friends can provide.
• Take care of your children and ensure that they do not become victims of the situation. Many children, especially the younger ones, somehow feel that it is their fault that mummy and daddy are no longer together. They need to be made aware that mummy and daddy love them dearly.  Routine and stability is of major importance.  Professional help, if needed, can be vital to the long term emotional wellbeing of children.

We offer an initial free information session about all things relating to a family breakup and, often, this can be very helpful because it takes away the fear of the unknown and provides some understanding about the principals behind parenting issues and property settlements.  We recommend that you come with a friend or family member to help you retain the information given.

If we can help, please call us on 9543 1444 and make an appointment.